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I'm super grouchy today. I feel like nobody really cares. I probably just had the worst Easter I've ever had. Violet came over but mostly ended up talking about problems. I was invited to join some friends for for a picnic which I did go to but was late.
I did the wonderful thing for a holiday and worked on taxes. Last night I just dreamed about owing lots of seperate little taxes on stupid things like talking to a dog in the internet. Feel kind of like I didn't sleep last night. Lately nothing feels worth doing. I don't know how long until I implode. Hopefully something really good happens soon.
Maybe soon I'll have a friend I can talk to lol who am I kidding. I really need a good connection soon. I really need to stop having it be where the good things are just temporarily less bad.
HI sorry I deleted my blogs, MY BAD
It's almost Valentine's Day or as FAIL calls it SAD, which is depressing as a member of FAIL but what can ya do
just remember candy goes on sale afterward and you can buy yourself stuff cause honestly i love myself more than anyone else could ever love me so you know what WHO NEEDS MEN-
my valentine to toontask
Yeah I'm not good at updating you guys on these. I've also been lax with taking pics so these are old. But enjoy!
More vague than specific:
Traumatic Secret Events:
That's all for now. If you wanna be featured here.. come into chat. And chat. DO IT. Also.. I'll try to get better at taking screenshots. lol
Hi I survived my 1st yr of college, barely.
Some stuff since then:
-got a job to tutor next semester
-cumulative gpa 3.9 (I get to brag cuz I'm not good at much besides being a nerd)
-total weight lost freshman yr: 32.8 lbs
-get permit & license
-do online summer classes
-lose 15lbs, get in shape
-get on normal sleep pattern
Also, sign me up for FAIL cuz I'm forever alone woooo Enjoy the tragic crush story:
So the tragic story of the dreamy guy... He began talking to me and sitting next to me in every class. I thought o he's pretty cute. So I asked him for help with programming stuff, and we exchanged numbers. Then after that he would offer to help all the time, spend a ton of time working on it with me, even tho he was busy a lot, he would always make time. We texted often about school, ourselves, life, and cats. A few times he gave me a ride to class. He always holds the door for me, laughed at all my jokes, listened to me, tries not to swear around me, always so sweet, acts all nervous around me, remembered everything I said, complements my art, and never really talks to people except me. THEN months later, he mentioned his long distance gf. WUT. so I was like ok I guess I'll just be his friend.. :'( But he kept mentioning her randomly a ton and all their plans when she sees him this summer and I'd be sad. :'((( Then final projects came and I mentioned how my partner ditched me on the project & I was doomed so he said "u should srsly ask to join my group" so I did and he completely scrapped their project to do my idea instead. & later he asked if we wanted pizza so I was like ok, the other kid said no, & he asked me to go with him & the whole time he barely talked and acted weird and awkward. He always acts weird around me, then texts normally later. I think I'll just cut off all contact with him cuz it's just sad and I am destined to be a Forever Alone Independent Life. The end.
Hey guys. It’s been a long time. I’m getting old.
So much has happened. SO SO MUCH. I’m like, a whole new person, seriously.
I definitely want to get back into Toontask again and I just jumped back into TTR. However, in order to get involved into Toontask, I think I owe it to you guys to tell you what happened in the past few months because I’m definitely not the same anymore. I’m going to try to make this blog brief and just list all the awesome things that have happened and will happen currently in my life.
I have some news for you guys about me. For those who know and remember me, it will blow your minds.
No really. Prepare to be shocked.
Seriously, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it.
I don’t think any of you are ready for it. Except for Roxy. You already know
I’m going to list all the big stuff that has happened to me in the past few months. I know I say this every year but... This is BY FAR the most eventful year of my life.
I’m saving the big news for last. Muhaha. Don’t cheat and try to skip to the end of this post. Tisk tisk.
First, I have a nephew! He is ADORABLE. Cutest baby EVER. He really is. I love him to bits.
I changed my major from English to Journalism. Yeah.
I sold my dog. Oh? You guys didn’t know I had a dog? Well, that's my fault for being so inactive. (I sold her because my other dog literally popped her eye out of her head. Yeah. I’m so tempted to post a picture.)
I got a boyfriend!! Whhhhat? I know right?!?! He’s pretty flippin amazing, let me tell yah. Seriously. He’s great.
I got a really good job offer to be a manager of a large, expanding company but I turned it down. Why? Well, you’ll have to wait until the end of this blog post to read the BIG NEWS.
I then changed my major from Journalism to Dietitian. Oh goodness gracious what have I done.
I got a new job where I put people in handcuffs, lock them in a pitch black room, and observe them from security cameras. No, really, it’s legit. I would elaborate but I want to get to the good part of this blog post.
I started taking German classes. Whhhat? Why would I take German classes?
I’m moving to Germany!!! Not traveling, not visiting, nope. I’m going to LIVE there. Yeah.
Now you may ask, why in the world would this American chick who lives in the middle of nowhere want to leave her college and family to go to a foreign country?
I’m glad you asked….because that’s not the big news I have for you all. I tricked you. Hahaha.
I’m moving to Germany because….
Are you guys ready for this?
I GOT MARRIED. Yep. February 14, 2016. This is not a joke. Remember I mentioned the boyfriend in the first part of this blog? That’s him. My hubby. My man.
Hold up, I’ve known him for about five years and we’ve been dating for a little less than two years. We actually have a pretty funny story about how we ended up together but I’m not about to turn down that road because that will make this blog twice as long. But we grew up going to high school together and we also played on the soccer team together. Twas destiny <3
We didn’t exactly go down the traditional road with our wedding though. Before you guys think it...we did not elope. I repeat. We did not elope.
However, we got married only two weeks after he proposed to me. (I would tell you how he proposed to me but again, that is another long story. Let's just say I physically was not able to continue standing after he got down on one knee. Way too many emotions for me to handle.)
After we got engaged, we planned to get married in 11 months. So why didn’t we wait? Well, cause of love. It was kind of spontaneous and we were in a beautiful place...it just seemed right. Plus, things are pretty complicated with his job. Before I go on, I never answered the question about why we are moving to Germany.
Nope, he is not German. He’s actually in the U.S. Army and he’s stationed all the way over in Germany. Another factor that played into us getting married so quickly.
So while I was in college in Florida, he found out he was going to get deployed and that kinda ruined all our wedding plans. So, without telling me, he called up my dad and asked for his blessing to marry me. Then, he video chatted me and said he didn’t want to extend our engagement and he instead wanted to take leave and come see me in Florida to get married.
So I had only TWO WEEKS to plan this wedding, find a venue, buy a wedding dress and a wedding ring, get the cake, and invite everybody, all while being a college student who had a 45 minute presentation and a 12 page paper due literally two days before the wedding. But with the help of my amazing friends, somehow I did it.
Our wedding was absolutely beautiful. There is no better way to describe it other than saying that it was just perfect. We had the wedding right on the beach as the sun was setting. My family and his family flew all the way there. My four best friends even flew down from Ohio to come to the wedding. The rest of the guests were my college friends. There was about 30 people who came. It was perfectly intimate.
Everything about my wedding was personal. My little sister did my hair and makeup. When I walked down the aisle, my roommate played the ukulele, and I had one friend play the bongos and one friend play the violin. Their instruments came together to play the song, Flightless Birds, as I went down the sandy aisle. My best friend officiated the wedding. Yeah! How awesome is that? The very day I told her about the wedding she got registered to be a minister for it.
Everything came together so well and I loved every part of that day. I have tears coming out of the corner of my eyes just thinking about it. But the best part was my husband. Him waiting for me as I walked down the aisle. Him holding my hands in front of all our loved ones. Him sitting next to me at the reception. Him holding my hands as I walked through the city in my white dress after the wedding. The thought of committing the rest of your life to someone is just amazing. I never really tried to wrap my mind around it until I actually did it. I gave him my forever. My whole life. The fact that he did the same for me feels amazing. It’s crazy. There are no words to describe it. I’m still trying to comprehend it. Okay, I’m done.
Actually kind of surprised that it has been almost a year since I've went on this site, or done anything Toontown related. A livestreamer that I follow apparently played it one night and that turned on the nostalgic switch, or something. I feel pretty awkward coming back but at the same time I feel like it'll help me socially a bit, because I have trouble even saying "hi" to people. Plus, I've been kind of bored doing mostly the same things or just generally doing nothing, so playing this game again is a good use of that time.
And because of mental health I'm going to be getting a driver's permit, finding a job around the start of June, and hopefully gain enough money to help myself. That's pretty much it, I'm too simple to go off on tangents.
Hope you're all doing well!
Hidden amongst the tall grass of the valley, a lone wolf waited. Her tail swished slowly, matching the rhythm of the wind as it swayed the blades around her, her sable fur providing decent camouflage in the dark of night. Her ears twitched anxiously as she listened, a hurricane of thoughts vying for her attention. She knew that this meeting was a bad idea. If she was found out, the result would be disastrous. Her standing with her pack was already uncongenial; to bear the weight of further ignominy would be too much to bear. Even the night itself seemed inauspicious, she noticed, looking up at the sky. Though a fog covered the horizon, the ever-present lights of midnight shown through, giving the moon a phantasmagoric and despondent appearance, as if it was weeping silvery tears.
There was movement in the distance, and the wolf flattened herself to the ground. For a moment there was silence. It happened so quickly, the wolf thought she must’ve blinked, but the next thing she knew, another face was staring back at her between the blades of grass. She jumped back slightly, causing the newcomer to chuckle.
"Relax, Umbra," he said. "It’s just me. No one else. You wanted to meet me, remember?"
Umbra sighed quietly. "You didn’t have to pop out of nowhere like that," she replied, but she let her tense muscles loosen. She looked up at the other wolf. Shades of tawny brown flecked his physiognomy and moonlight reflected off his eyes, giving him a strange aura of erudition. In that moment, she let her doubts slip away. Being caught with her paramour would be horrendous, but, being a loner, he knew more about the world than the rest of her pack did. She had to at least try to see if there was anything he could do. Dealing with a few cutting remarks would all be worth it if she could come up with a way to end this suffering.
"Cypress, you’ve heard of the plague, haven’t you?" she asked. The other wolf’s face melted into seriousness as she went on. "You…" she hesitated. Would she think she was just trying to take advantage of him? She dug her claws into the dry earth. "You wouldn’t know anything that could cure it, could you?"
Cypress tilted his head and frowned slightly. "Why would you care?" he asked bluntly. "Your pack has done nothing for you. They even think that you’re-" He caught himself and looked away, not meeting her gaze.
Overcome by the awkwardness that now hung in the air, Umbra looked down as well. He felt bad for reminding her of her misfortune, but it wasn’t like she could forget. How could she forget the three little pups that had been her small lights in the midst of her pillory of a home? How could she forget the way they frolicked and played and loved her in spite of her mistakes? How could she forget them writhing in pain, wasting away until they were no more than cold, emaciated, lifeless bodies?
The contagion had struck them first out of all the pack. There had been no sympathy, no remorse, no grief besides her own. Any prior sympathies that her packmates had toward her were dropped. The pups were meant to die, they said. It was a sign from "the Spirit of the Land", that her deeds would not go unpunished. When the sickness only continued to spread, spiritual leader of the pack had called together the higher-ups. It was clear that she had cursed the pack by her transgression, he had insisted imperiously. The only way to stop it was to remove the root of the problem: Umbra herself. She had been exiled soon after.
Shaking the memories away, she finally looked back up at Cypress. "I know,"she said. "I know."
"But yet you still feel guilty?" he said, more than asked. When she didn’t reply, he sighed. "I might be able to come up with something." She perked up slightly. Seeing this, Cypress suddenly bolted up, his tail gesticulating back and worth wildly. "But Umbra," he expostulated in a hushed, yet stern voice. "You couldn’t give it to them. They wouldn’t trust you! In fact, if the disease still hasn’t subsided, they might think that the only way the rid themselves of it is to… is to kill you. You would accomplish nothing."
Umbra stepped back in shock of his sudden reprimand, but held his gaze. "If that’s what they plan on doing," she said, gritting her teeth. "They’ll be hunting me down soon anyway. I’m hardly a hider. I’d rather die knowing I at least tried to make up for what I’ve done."
For what seemed a millennium, Cypress considered her words. Then, at last, his agitated form became calm. "If that’s really what you want," he relented, and Umbra nodded. "Okay, I’ll do what I can. But when I bring it to you, I just want you to know… you won’t be taking it alone. You’re not the only one who made that mistake." With that, he disappeared into the night, leaving Umbra by herself under the moon’s mournful glow.
And for the first time since her pups’ passing, she no longer felt forsaken.
This is actually a belated V-Day gift for my friend, Day. I really wanted to give her something because I'm still crushing on her despite her telling me she got into a relationship before I even finished this, and that was because I got really lazy when I shouldn't have. Sorry there, friendo. But I'm happy for her! I didn't think I was fit for her, anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
These are her characters, Gabriel (the winged fellow) and Soul (the grumpy one). I've already drawn Soul once before for her birthday, and he's still fun to draw. I did a little experimenting with this one, as I seem to often do, and I really like how the background came out. And here I thought that Photoshop couldn't blend colors as well as Sai (it still can't but wohoho i can't get sai).
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I might as well just come out and say that I'm not really trying to be active here anymore. I'm not leaving or anything, because doing that will make it awkward for when I do decide to come back, like now. Truthfully, I've stopped playing Toontown Rewritten altogether. I've been wanting to get back into it for months, but I've been procrastinating and generally just afraid to. The thing that kept me coming back to the original game was my friends. Sure, the motivation to progress further into the game might keep me invested for a bit, but with no one to help me, I'd probably get burnt out. I feel awful about it considering I was one of the people given access to the game after the election, like I don't really deserve it anymore. But even if I were to pick it up again, there's something else that would pull me back, like it has been for almost a year now. And that something is Splatoon.
I'm not gonna lie, I've been obsessing over this game since before it was released. I thought it was fun and interesting despite being a shooter. Plus the whole, "You're a kid! You're a squid!" thing.. man, that commerical was terrible. But yeah, I've been heavily invested in this game ever since. I've made so many characters and stories because of it. It's actually kind of embarassing. ;v; Every time I come here, though, there aren't really any topics about it. Either no one wants to or that subforum is super dead. But if anyone here does play, feel free to leave a comment! Fair warning: I will geek out and/or ramble.
Another game I've been sort of into is Undertale, which I'm sure everyone's heard about by now. I have sort of a weird history with this game. About two years ago, a friend showed me a video. I don't remember exactly what he told me other than that it was a demo for a game. I don't remember much from it other than the opening, player character, and Flowey. The graphics didn't turn me off, as I think there were quite a few indie games rocking that style at the time. What turned me off were the menus. I'm really all over the place when it comes to RPGs. I like them, but only as long as they're simple and easy to get into. I don't recall any gameplay from the demo, so I assumed I wasn't going to like it because it was an RPG. I dismissed it and completely forgot about it until this game called "Undertale" started blowing up everywhere. I had no idea what it was until I sat down and watch someone play through it.. and everything came back. Unfortunately, I spoiled the entire thing for myself. The playthrough I watched was very good, though, and I still got really emotional. I eventually bought the game and it was definitely a different experience. Even when I expected certain things to happen, I still smiled. I put off getting the "neutral ending" for a while because.. reasons, but I did eventually get the true ending. And I'll never do the bad ending because
I'm not a heartless monstermore reasons. I recommend the demo to anyone who's interested, though some things differ slightly from the full game. I feel bad for not giving it a chance at first because of the RPG element, but it was actually really fun! I love how the battle system works. Definitely one of my favorite games from 2015.
Another brief update about my life as of right now, since something other than Splatoon happened after April 2015. I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable in my new apartment. However, it took a little longer because somewhere between April and November, my dad offered his "girlfriend" (and her son) to stay with us for "a few months" until she could get a place for herself. Well, it's been over a year since then, and I'm so ready to boot them out. I hate that she's a slob, takes up space, and can't be bothered to clean her dishes. Then there's her son, who's just.. loud. And very obnoxious. He's one of the reasons I don't like kids and will probably never have any. I wonder how my dad can put up with them considering she was only meant to stay temporarily, but it feels more like she's gotten too comfortable and doesn't want to leave? Either that or it's all a clever ruse to get me to move out by sheer annoyance. Because it's kinda working.Spoiler
tl;dr We have house guests that feel more like house pests. Also if you're wondering why I said "girlfriend", it's because.. she isn't, really. She's really only around to do favors. Like, general favors. :v
I'm in the process of drawing something for Splatoon's first anniversary because
I'm trashwhy not? It's basically compilations of all my characters, seperated by species (Inkling, Octarian, etc). I hope to have the sketches done soon. Let's see if my procrastination will allow it. As for those FNAF drawings.. I've pretty much dropped doing them altogether. I might come back to it later, but right now, I have little interest to. That and I'm not that into the games anymore. I'll still get merchandise, like this t-shirt I bought recently, but that's really it. It had an interesting, thought-provoking story to tell and I feel like it ended on a decent note (sans FNAF World). It was fun while it lasted. I heard it's getting a movie adapation, though. If it becomes a thing, I'm definitely going to go see it with friends to see how terrible it is.
But that's all for now. Like I said, if I ever get back into Toontown Rewritten, I'd prefer having friends to keep it interesting (and for help, of course). I'm not looking for any at the moment, though, especially since most of my time is spent on Splatoon and such. Evidently, I want friends there so I can play squads. I think that's unrealistic, though. At least I have regular ranked mode to keep things fresh.. even if most of the time it's just me yelling and getting mad at everyone. :'D
First things first - there's been a lot going on in my life over the past year, some great, some bad... I haven't been really active here much over the past year, but I had made a decision regarding Toontask to stay away due to someone being childish. I just couldn't deal with the childish drama anymore and thought it was best to take a break. I have been on and off without posting or without visiting chat a couple of times, it was easier that way. I don't play Toontown anymore, I just don't have the time - I think Alex plays my toon on occasion, so if you see Mo Mo on, its not me - its my daughter. I do hope that I can start being active and stop letting someone get to me so much. It's best to set an example, put a smile on, be friendly, and enjoy life. Kill 'em with kindness...
On to the year - I thought 2016 was going to be a good year, I was looking forward to a positive year, unfortunately, that was not the case - Ive had a lot of heart ache this year!
New years was great - Spent it with Matt, Anil, and the kids (Anil is our bestie). My birthday went well, even though I took getting a year older a bit hard. Then we hit a rocky patch....
February 1, my mom fell and hit her head - after that it was all downhill quickly. I got a phone call (FaceTime) on February 7 saying I need to travel from Florida to West Virginia immediately. I got to Facetime with my mom on the phone, who was basically non-responsive the entire time except to tell me "I love you". I cried and told her I was on my way to see her, to just hold on a bit longer for me. I caught a flight early on February 8 and had an hour layover in Washington, DC. Unfortunately during that layover, I got a phone call saying my mom had passed away just minutes before my plane was due to board. I was devastated and alone - Matt and the kids didn't make the trip with me since we didn't expect mom to pass away. But they did fly in 2 days later to be with me during that time. Luckily I have a great bestie who came and took care of my house and cats for us while we were away. He is really a life saver at times.
With dealing with mom's passing at the airport - I was so alone, felt like my world was crashing down on me, sat and cried and I started to feel so much regret for waiting 7+ years before deciding to see her (or any family). Staying in touch and seeing your family is something I would urge anyone to do. It's a horrible feeling to know you will never be able to see someone again. Once I made it to WV, it was hectic. Family everywhere and questioning me about everything in my life. I slept very little, stressing about everything and regretting my life choices. All I wanted was to see my mom... thats all I cared about. It was a little soothing knowing she passed peacefully and didn't have to live with Alzheimer's anymore.
The wake, funeral, and burial was a blur, but everyone got into an argument at the funeral about how they are the only one there when... "this or that happened" on February 8. I got upset and told everyone "try being the only one who wasn't there!". That drama quickly ended. But it all started back up when we got to my parents house. My siblings only cared about who would get what of moms, I didn't care if I got anything, I was just happy to be able to see family while I could. I did get to spend 2 weeks with family, but it wasn't an enjoyable trip. However, leaving was really hard to do.
So, we made another trip back to WV on March 18 and spent almost 2 weeks there. My bestie again took care of the house and cats for me. He is really close to Matt and I and it was difficult on him with us being away for so long. Anyway - It was strange being back in WV again, and I really hard a difficult time dealing with my mom still not being there. While we were there, we were informed our car was recalled and had to be brought to a dodge dealership immediately. We had to get a replacement from Enterprise until we made it back to Florida. The whole process was a headache as Enterprise didn't want to work with us to get a vehicle since we weren't paying for it (the dealership was). Anyway, after we made it home, we got a new car - 2016 Dodge Charger RT. Her name is Amara (Supernatural fans will know that name).
Even 2 1/2 months later, I still miss my mom more than anything. I wish I would have had more time with her. She wasn't that old and should have been with us another 20+ years. I never dreamed I would have to say good bye to her this early in life. It makes you stop and appreciate the little things in life. Always take the opportunity to tell people you love them, don't hold on to the past, and live for the future. You just never know what kind of impact something will have until it happens.
So, now - I'm half way through my Master of Science concentration in information technology. I'm doing really well and have a 3.95 GPA. The downside - my migraines have increased and I haven't had any relief for a few weeks. My guess is from stress and dealing with everything. I was seeing the chiropractor 3 times a week, but found that it only helped for a few hours and then the pain became more intense. Part of me feels like I am slowly deteriorating because of the migraines, but I push through and make the best out of it.
Oh another bit of great news -- I'm going to have another grand baby on April 20! A little girl (Alexis Marie)!! I'm really excited about that. Nervous for my daughter, since she is having a scheduled delivery (c-section). However, Noah is really excited and is going to love his baby sister. I can't wait to met her and spoil her too!
Well now looking at it maybe 2016 hasn't been all horrible, it started off really rocky and horrible, but things are starting to look up!
Here is Amara ---
hello remember me?? i still exist!!!
settling in to university has been so hectic that i genuinely have had little to no time to come on here properly anymore. so while i'm home for easter break i thought i'd use my free time to write on here!!
does anyone even read my entries or am i just ranting to myself
so my first year of uni is almost over (lectures are finished now, i just have exams to do) and here's a brief rundown of everything that's happened:
- i bonded with my flatmates on the first week and we've had a friend circle ever since. we are the snake crew. fear us
- i read about 50 different books for my course (i'm not even kidding) and so far i've written like 14 essays?? i think? and i still have 3 big ones to go
- i think i'm averaging on a 2:1 grade which is pretty good my highest grade so far is a 1st which is the highest possible grade u can get here so YAY!!
- my final exam is worth 80% of my mark l o l i'm gonna fail it's on may 9th and it's like 2 and a half hours and I'M SO NERVOUS
- one of my modules was medieval literature and it involved translating texts from old english and middle english. was this easy? look up beowulf and the wanderer. i had to TRANSLATE. THaT.
- there's a dance society here and i was toying whether or not to join them all year and recently i attended some classes, so next year i'm going to become a proper member yay!! i miss dance
- i'm also going to be a part of their writing society hehehe
- i've met soooo many incredible people throughout the course of the year. one girl i'm planning going on holiday with next summer!
- i've also met my boyfriend and he's the most wonderful person i know (i also got him into toontown rewritten so we play together!)
- next year i'm gonna be living in a GORGEOUS house with some of my friends and i'm so excited! but filling out all of the contracts and putting down holding deposits has taken so long and it's been mega mega stressful
- that's another thing: i am completely, utterly, 100% broke. and i think i will be forever. RIP
i think that's everything summed up!
ummmmmmmmm i still play toontown. i've been playing more recently since my lectures ended because i've had more free time. after my exams i can come back here properly again for the summer! i'm excited
it's mainly my boyfriend that makes me play right now because he's obsessed we made new toons together and we've already got them up to the dreaded lil oldman. so if i'm on there it's mostly to play with him lol
the place i live at uni is absolutely stunning the area is just so gorgeous. especially in the summer. the scenery is like... to die for. i like to go on walks when it's sunny because there's just so much to see! and i also live near this gorgeous old town with a castle and jfdgdhfvui it's just so beautiful
here are a couple of pictures:
(edit: the end of this entry is also under the spoiler bc for some reason i can't take it out :/)
this is a foresty walkway in the middle of my uni and there's a lake with ducks and it's just absolutely gorgeous
this is all the area around where i live! stunning right?
and this is part of the town i live near that's really old and it has this huuuge river, and about 50 swans on it
hmmm what else is there to update u all on..
oh i haven't been writing anything for forever because obviously no time BUT next year one of my modules is a creative writing course, and we have to basically write a short story every week lol. so i think that's really gonna do wonders for me in getting back into it!
i do want to get back into it before that though, so after my exams are done i'm thinking i'll come back to writing here again i was going through my folders yesterday and i found a lotttt of drafts of TT stories that i began but never got into. so i want to look at a couple and see if i can get back into them again!
i think that's all
i also think i talk too much in my blogs. i should stop that
Due to wanting a bit more of an experience, I made a new Toon, who replaced Crazy Max. (R.I.P)
Here he is, the one and only, Fat Tubby! Say hi to the people, Tubby.
He doesn't like to talk much. Why not, Tubby?
Oh well. So, Tubby, how do you feel about being the new Toon, ready to destroy cogs and have fun with friends?
Great to hear! Or... see? If anyone needs help training with Toon-Up, he'd be happy to oblige!
That's all for now. Say bye, Tubby!
soooo i disappeared lol. certain things kept me from venturing back here, but i'm gonna try to pop in every once and awhile from now on!
i missed christmas and new years here and i feel bad about it so... merry christmas and happy new year i got cool stuff. candy, games, bla bla.
not much has happened to me lately! i've just been kinda living life i guess, tryna roll with the punches. we're moving this year and i'm going to disneyland on the 18th of this month, so that's fun?
i've been drawing as you might have guessed, just not nearly as much as i should. did you know that mental health is a pain in the bucket? i haven't played much TTR lately either, but i mean... all my noob toons are coupled with friends' toons so i can't work on em alone! i'll probably get back into it sometime here soon, i've just been too busy with stuff like team fortress and idk zelda lol.
whenever i write a blog entry i always forget whats happened to me in the past year so i dont really know what to talk about oops
long story short i'ma try to be more active!!! i always say that but i do try lol we'll see what happens
i miss yall and i hope you havent forgotten about me!! <3
hi i feel weird bc i havent been on in so long bc temporary loss of interest in ttr and also college started back up again so here's a recipe i learned from my mom
- get a pan. a big pan. or the biggest one u can find
- put it on the stove and turn the heat somewhere between medium-high
- pour in some olive oil. just enough to cover the surface. doesnt have to be a lot
- get some minced garlic (available in jar form) and spoon it in there. literally. as much as u want. there are no measurements 2 this
- wait until the oil starts gettin bubbly
- take a bag of spinach. an entire bag. the ones u find at the grocery store and just. pour it all in there. go wild
- its gonna be a mountain of spinach at first but u gotta kinda mix it in w the oil and garlic. donut worry bc the heat is what wilts the spinach so its all good
- get it all mixed in there. in like 5-10 minutes all the spinach should be wilted so its no longer a stupid mountain of leaves.
- turn the stove off when all the spinach is wilted. this recipe is so simple really the only way u can mess it up is by overcooking the spinach
- put it in a bowl or smth and eat it. or eat it straight from the pan if you prefer. im not gonna tell u how to live ur life
- this recipe is actually super good for you
- and rly easy 2 make
- stick this one in ur cookbooks, kids
So to say that I am now a non active I guess would be putting it correctly. Since I have been for what seems like forever now. There are reasons I still think about all the wonderful times I have had here on toon task. I miss everyone so much I don't think that will ever go away. I try to check in when I can actually get to my computer. This year has been really odd for me to say the least I don't really know or don't want to believe that it has all happened.
So In short As some of you know I have been taking care of my parents and my grandmother for several years now. Well where to start Day after Christmas last year I had to put my grandma dog down she had a fast growing cancer tumor in her hip.
March...... I think it was march time is a blur......... Phone call my mothers pulled muscle in her hip was a 8 cm tumor. It had also spread everywhere else I mean everywhere 6 weeks I think my dad says it was 3 but I like to think it was longer. She was gone. I stayed with her the whole time and continued to take care of her till I had to have help.
Two weeks later.......... My sweet Frazier (dog) I lost him to. They say he was old but he was not 14 is not old for a dog not at all.
So things have been difficult to say the least. My grandma recently went into a nursing home she has been having mini strokes for about a year now. And due to her health going down along with the depression. She could not remain at home with only one person taking care of her. I knew this was right but to hear that I could not take care of her from some one else like that *ouch*
So at this point I am having to be a grown up which I really don't like at all. you know bills grocery shopping. all that night mare stuff. because My dad don't know how to do any of it my mom did everything I mean why can't he open a letter with out loosing it. he is starting to get a bit better He actually opened a piece of mail the other day.
So in short My life has really changed and I spend most of my time trying to figure out what day it is and where I am going. I hope to find myself again some day. If I am still out there.
I am just posting for the ones who are so dear to me I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me that is just UUUGGGGGGG don't like it. And all that stuff it will get better with time Yea don't like hearing that. LOL So if when I am around you notice that I am different or don't participate everything is just really well like I am looking through someone else's eyes.
I the forms are like being on another planet to me I hope to get some of my brains back one day and be able to re figure everything out on Toon Task
Never forget to give hugs you never know when it will be the last!
oh gosh, i haven't been active here. there's several reasons for that! i felt like i don't belong here + disliked, but in reality, it's just me being paranoid; all those summer's heat is getting to me, you know? i don't know, like.. it make me so frustrated as i couldn't enjoy absolutely anything on a hot day and being hot make me snappy and grumpy; it's difficult to think clearly like when few things go wrong, i start to freak out and jump to conclusions on something else. i also haven't bothered going on pc during hottest days, instead i stay in living room with air cooler on; it's lovely and relaxing! it helped me so much like i think about things a lot and i realized a lot of things as tiny pointless things that used to bother me and then i'm like "wow i cant believe that used to bother me haha!" and got over it, you know? ;D i matured a lot and became a better person; feeling stable too!! at this point though, i'm sick of being stuck there with almost nothing to do and i'm still 100000% ready for summer to be over. cmon, it's september already; enough with hot days pls.
anyways!! (for reference, i've been giving melissa the silent treatment for several months because of that incident when she left me behind at a building) believe it or not, i finally spoke to melissa; why? because of Food. yes food is magical and essence of bringing people together. last weekend, dad, dad's dad, dad's sister, and melissa were going out for swimming and of course, they'll need food there so i prepared hot dogs and i know melissa don't like hot dogs so i came up to melissa and asked her and so... i guess we're now talking again, i still don't trust her to stay in her car alone but it's really nice to talk again.
i don't know if i even mentioned it but i did make up with my rl friend a long ago until last month or so, i deleted him because he was getting on my nerves, one day he showed me a stupid video of guys dancing in rainbow flashing screen and i thought that was the entire length of video so i looked away to continue doing my thing then he apologized for no reason and i got confused so i checked video again and [...] it isn't funny at all. it left me speechless and i didn't know how to respond to him after that so i went silent and few nights later or so, i was staying up late playing a steam game with tay and he started annoying me being all "lol y u play tis at this hour" like not actual words but he does talk like that and i hit my limit of patience with him. i didn't want him to interrupt any further nor ruin my night so i deleted him without saying a thing and the next day, he tried to add me and i took the time to think about it and denied him, i felt so much happier without him so i want to keep it that way for a while, i don't know if i'll even become his friend again; that idea scares me; he was the only rl best friend i even had. but he's such an inappropriate idiot and bad influence. i do wish i have rl friends but not likes of him. it's no wonder most of my friends are female; something almost always go wrong for me with a male friend.
as for driving, i'm down to one final lesson this friday which is TOMORROW ! and after that, i may be finally able to drive with dad to practice and i'll have to take 5-hour lesson in october, i think. and eventually a road test in same month! i feel super confident that i could perform well but not in this condition right now; i need to practice more obviously! i couldn't practice driving much during summer because of hot days and dad's car's air cooler is broken so i had to wait. i'm nervous for tomorrow; i don't know why because i always do well but yet, i still feel nervous; isn't that weird?? ;_; i guess maybe because i got too comfortable not having to go anywhere for a while, so that's bad. i'm gonna have to break that habit alright.
anyways, i cannot wait for summer to be over, there's so much of stuff for me to do!
-draw draw dRAW
-cleaning house projects
-play video games
-wear whatever i want especially sweaters and cute clothes !
-re-do my room
-take care of hair easier
-work on toons more maybe!
speaking of hair, i've been taking great care of it, it's more difficult during summer because when a person get dehydrated; it doesn't just appear on their lips but hair too and it'll appear super dry and weird, you know? it's SO annoying! and i don't like drinking water a lot but i had no choice. :c and i started brushing it frequently and it make a HUGE difference, i want to grow it out long enough to have a ponytail btw! i took a big pride in taking care of my hair as it grew (literally) on me! and i love my hair so so so much.
gosh, i can't wait to draw a lot, there's a lot on my mind that i want to draw so bad!! i want to draw a lot for friends and do a lot of art trades and buy art commissions too LOL.. i have waited long enough tbh i also have so many unfinished art and i don't want to let that become a horrible habit ;__; although if it's art i lost interest in finishing, there's no point in making myself trying to finish it being bored and unmotivated and it would kill my art mood, you know? then that's okay! move on and make new art!
also, another reason i haven't been active because there wasn't much of stuff going on in here although it might be because i didn't look hard enough; i don't know. personally, i don't have much to share here; besides blog entries about my life and occasionally art; i'll eventually post more drawings here, i just haven't drawn much over summer, that's all!
thanks for reading!
With that, I have no more screenshots to post. I hope everyone who read these got as much enjoyment out of it as I did. As always, the link to the photobucket album that stores all this craziness will be posted on the left.
I've acted annoying, weird, even creepy in the past. I admit it. But I've done some growing and decided that I should be more mature.
So I'm sorry if I was a jerk or immature in the past. I'm definitely trying to change. I hope you all can forgive me.
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Like writing a blog post is necessary. I've been off and on here for awhile, for certain reasons. I think I'm ready to make this post and kind of actually integrate myself into the community. Up until now, I feel like people don't know enough about me, and I feel like I don't know anything about anybody on here (especially since I haven't made the effort, as we all know communication goes both ways).
I guess this is where I tell a bit about myself. My name is Dustin. Hence, The Dusty Pig. My favourite colour is lime green, I play tennis, swim, ski and curl, and I don't have a favourite food. My best friend and fiance is named Cole, and he is the best friend any person could ever have (yes, we ARE getting married 7/7, in case people have had any doubts). I've noticed that when I make a friend, I don't do it at all by appearance, and only through their personality. I like to think that I can make friends easily, and am sensibly-talkative enough to make people feel invited and encouraged to talk to me.
So why make this blog post? You see that last little bit there? I feel like I haven't done that. I've been a part of TTK for awhile. Longer than some, but not one of the eldest for sure. I was incredibly active before TTO shut down, and admittedly, I was not nearly as active since then, until now. Personally, I'm just under the assumption that I haven't been myself and made an effort to use my skills to be a part of this community. There are many wonderful and brilliant people on this site, and I feel fortunate to have met many of them, but that's it. Met. When I get involved in a community, I want to make friends, get to know the people I actually think I might find interesting. That includes talking to people, sending them a PM to engage in a conversation, and if it doesn't work out? That doesn't bother me. But it's in the back of my mind that I have neglected this community and many of the potential friends and just overall good people on here. And I feel both disappointed in myself and a bit upset that I haven't done more to try.
So I guess what I'm saying here is, I feel bad that I haven't personally done people in this community justice, and I do feel bad for not trying to talk to people... And that it took me years to actually realize that maybe what I was doing wasn't enough to make me feel comfortable and happy here. Moving forward, I hope to talk to many of you, and I will definitely be shooting out some PMs to people that I genuinely want to talk to and try to get to know. That doesn't mean that people that don't receive a PM immediately are people I don't want to talk to of course. I'm hoping that just through this realization, and a bit of a follow up, I'm going to be happy with being here and being a part of the community as a whole.
tl;dr version: Personal disappointment. Miss the community. Need to talk more. I'm trying.
Let me explain myself to why there isn't a third day to this:
I stayed two nights at the same hotel, doing nothing but watching TV and watching people from the fourth floor. The day after (Day 14) was an eight hour drive, then a four hour drive on Day 15 (today)
Day 14: Tok, Alaska
(another late risky fly-by shot)
That's all. I may (or may not) post updates when house-hold goods arrive, with statistics and cat pictures.
Thank you very much for viewing and reading. ♥
Yes, that title made me cringe too. Give me a break. It's the best I could think of.
This week was supposed to be my last week of the 2014-15 school year. I was expecting anxiety to prevent me from getting my final tests done, but something else knocked me down: a cold. A simple cold confined me to the couch for the past 4 days. I was going to try to push through it, but once my fever skyrocketed, I wasn't getting anything done. It's really frustrating because I'm so close to finishing!! So now I have to drag out these horrible courses another week.
Starting 4 months ago, I noticed that my vision was kinda blurry. I found it hard to focus on things far away, especially when using my left eye. It started really bothering me in April. I failed my eye exam at my general doctor's, so they sent me to an eye doctor. It turns out that I'm nearsighted in my left eye, and farsighted in my right eye. I didn't know that was a thing?? I hear people say that they're nearsighted OR farsighted but never one in either eye?? Apparently it's uncommon (I think I'm the queen of uncommon illnesses at this point) and easily fixed with a pair of glasses. I can't complain too much. I just got them this morning and getting used to them is really weird. I didn't realize how bad my vision had gotten until I put them on. I forgot what it was like to have 20/20 vision. My reaction to seeing clearly again with awkward glasses must have been funny because everyone who saw me laughed. Hopefully this headache and clumsiness will go away soon.
I grew out my hair for the past two years. I used to get it cut fairly short each summer. Last month, my hair was about 2 feet long... and I think that was the only thing I actually liked about myself. It started getting hard to take care of, so I decided to cut it. I wanted to try something new, and that meant getting most of it cut off. I didn't want to waste all that and I found a nice charity to donate it to. I got close to 1 1/2 feet chopped off. It shocked a lot of people (I got "DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR??" a few times a day lol). I really like it... except the fact that it got wavier than I thought it was. Now I need to straighten it so it doesn't look stupid. It's kinda time-consuming but it doesn't bother me too much.
Besides that, my life has been really boring. Since people can barely recognize me now, I feel the need to live under a new name, like I'm a new person. Or is that weird? lol
Haven't used this blog in a long time... dust collecting everywhere... anyway wanted to share an entry I made elsewhere; unsure if I can do external links on this site or not still. I made a few edits to not cause confusion, best I can, and be within the TTK rules (last I knew few years ago).
To my friends reading this, I have a request for you at the end of this entry. Please read it through to the end.
Several years ago, I played a game called Trickster. It was an interesting game made from Korea. At first I had fun times but my teenage pride and anger issues was getting the best of me and was sorta driving people away. I made friends but only few I kept in contact with for a few more years before they... well vanished without any way to still keep on contact. All but one friend.
My actions in the game were... not something I'm proud of. I was nitpicky, full of myself, and maybe manipulative. Many things annoyed me in the commute and the game yet I still stuck around as I had nothing else to do... some excuse huh?
I went by the name JasonR, Charm Type Raccoon, back in the day. I miss the friends I made and I regret not keeping in touch with them any further after playing... guess that's why I felt a bit uneased with myself lately. The friends I made, I no longer talked to and hardly needed their help... or refused to ask for their help as I was too full of pride to do things on my own.
My friend from trickster decided to go on the private server (will not release info), the only version there is of the game, and I soon decided to join with her. She had hard times too that I wasn't aware of, or I may have forgotten. I doubt I'll meet the same people again in-game, as I've grown distant from making new friends in MMOs for some years now. Them becoming the past, with others, scares me deeply every time I make new ones. I soon forget their faces and their names... and how I first met them. Guess I'm just scared of moving on myself in life and hang onto those dear to me. I don't ever like being alone... gets me very sad and helpless.
I still have their contact info on YIM but they haven't log-in for several years that they maybe have moved on with their lives, having doubts they still use their e-mail address. Most were from when MSN was still a thing... I wonder if hotmail is still around to see if I can contact them.
Memories flood in... the friends I made I lost contact with and I don't know if I can still contact them with the e-mails they gave me... part of me wants to so very badly reach out and catch up... and I just don't know why... I guess I'm just afraid of being alone... or abandoning or being abandoned... or forgotten overall. Don't even know if they still have my e-mail address... heck even tearing up as I'm typing this.
...but...if they still wanted to stay in contact, they would've let me know... they all would've let me know and not just up and leave without saying good bye or give me info to stay in contact with them... all but one from Trickster, all but few from Toontown & Toontask, all but one from Neo Steam... and other games/commutes I was apart of in my life.
I miss those times and I don't want to lose contact with other friends I made... not ever again... Just going back to Trickster had me unease for a bit and couldn't figure out why till now as I type this entry. The majority of friends I made as a whole, not just trickster, are no longer around and no longer in fair reach... haven't talked to them in years. Maybe because I found them boring and replaced them or we lack any common interest after awhile and stopped talking. Stupid reasons like that.
I'm deeply sadden by all this memory rush, especially as I look at my contact list on my e-mail address since I made it roughly 10 years ago... The memories of those time really hurt me deeply... guess I never made a good connection with many of them and I should just... let them go... or keep their contact info as memoirs when I was having fun(-ish) and not a cranky cat I am today.
Guess I'm just scared of making new friends and making new has-been friends... it may be the way of life, but I don't want that anymore... it just hurts me more and more it happens. Has me thinking if I did something wrong to offend them, if they did something I found annoying and didn't want to be apart of when it was nothing, or a mix of those. Even the friends I made in my childhood I stopped talking by the time I was in middle school... I was too afraid to leave the property of my house and my parents weren't that all encouraging me to go and just take my side of fear.
I want to make better memories though in this version of Trickster... or maybe just play long enough to get enough nostalgia to last. Heck... want to make better memories with all my friends.
I have one deep request to all my friends right now. Please, if you want to stay in contact with me, if we ever end up parting went in good terms, please let me know. I don't want anymore has-been friends, especially those I never had any major issues with. And I want to know if I'm being a good or bad friend to you... any feedback is welcome, as I don't get enough and fail to notice my faults in time.
I know I don't have many active friends here, but wanted to share this with you all to learn from a grave mistake I made all those years. I'm not looking for sympathy or pity, but to share a horrible nightmare experience I locked away and wanted to forget. Be honest with your friends, stay in contact with them if you really appreciate them, and give others who are afraid to be alone or misjudged a chance to stay in contact with you so they can change to be better.
To the mods, if you see anything that is rule breaking on this entry or questionable, contact me directly and I'll edit it immediately myself, or may reply back to clarify the issue if need be. I don't want my words altered without letting me know what the problem was in this entry. Please respect that, all I ask.